


love like snow

by tsukiko123



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cuddling, Flashbacks, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, im not sure what to tag this LOL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 13:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6287095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukiko123/pseuds/tsukiko123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end of the year always seems to be the time when all the memories come back, invading minds and bringing with them strong nostalgia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love like snow

**Author's Note:**

> my first iwaoi fic!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ i hope i did them justice; i haven't written in a while so it may be a bit rough!! enjoy! ((also i have no idea how to title))

Snow is made up of thousands, _millions_ , of stunning, individual snowflakes. None are exactly the same, but they all come together to form the winter wonderland spread outside on a cold winter day.

Love is a lot like snow, except without the cold. It’s made of the moments you experience, each one unique and beautiful, eventually melding to form the enigmatic emotion we know as love. These moments change for each person you fall in love with, like the way the snow melts and comes back each year. It comes back again, with more distinct snowflakes falling, clumping, and forming that bright winter scenery once more.

For Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, their snow has never melted; rather, it’s piled up, higher and higher each year, and they have no problem letting it do so, neither of them having any intention of letting it melt. They find solace in their eternity, the constant reassurance of having each other by their side.

The end of the year always seems to be the time when all the memories come back, invading minds and bringing with them strong nostalgia.

~

It’s a cold day in December, and the two of them are holed up in Hajime’s room as they enjoy the last few days of the year. There’s a light snow falling outside, the first of this winter, coating the neighbourhood in a light fluff. Hajime’s room is warm, the heat turned up and both of them wearing their old Aoba Jousai sweaters.

“Hey, Iwa-chan, do you ever feel super nostalgic after Christmas?” Tooru, laying on his back on Hajime’s bed, eating the last piece of a small mandarin orange, asks, a light smile on his face.

“A little bit, I guess,” Hajime’s reply is swift and disinterested, choosing to focus on the homework in front of him rather than answer another one of Tooru’s questions.

“My earliest memory is when we went to that stupid Golden Week camp over the long weekend.” Tooru rolls over onto his stomach, poking Hajime’s back with his finger. Hajime sighs knowingly; this was going to be a long conversation.

“Yeah, I remember that,” he says, turning to lean on the low desk in his room, and facing Tooru. “What were we, like, 5?”

Tooru props himself up on his elbows. “Iwa-chan, you were such a sweet and considerate child, what happened?” he says teasingly, one eyebrow raised and a mischievous smile on his face.

“You got more annoying, that’s what happened.”

Tooru pouts, and thinks back to when they first met.

 

 

~Golden Week, age 5

 

 

“Don’t wanna go.”

“Come on Tooru, don’t be difficult! I promise this is going to be fun, and it’s only for 3 days anyway.” Tooru’s mother says in response to her son’s unwillingness. “If you don’t like it, we can just cancel the next two days, okay?” She pulls the zipper up Tooru’s jacket, takes his hand and leads him out the door. It’s a quick walk and train ride from their house to the community center where the 3-day camp was being held. Still holding his hand, Tooru’s mother brings him to the gym, where a few other children, mostly 6 or 7 year olds, were gathered. “Tooru, tell the counselor your name.” She gestures towards a young man in glasses, probably a student volunteer.

“…Oikawa Tooru,” he mumbles. The man looks down at his attendance sheet, and checks off Tooru’s name.

“Well, Tooru-kun, looks like you’re in the grasshopper group. They’re over there, you see the picture?” The counselor gestures towards the back corner of the gym, with three or four other kids already there. Tooru’s mother releases his hand and gently pushes him in that direction.

“Have fun, Tooru! I’ll be in the library if you need me.” She directs the last part to the counselor, kisses Tooru on the head, and leaves. Tooru frowns, and goes to join the other “grasshoppers”. He joins their circle and sits down, not looking to talk to anyone.

“Ok! Let’s introduce ourselves first. How about we start with you?” His counselor, a perky girl, winks at him. Tooru groans, and reluctantly states his name. They continue around, Tooru not paying attention to any of the names, only listening in when he realizes they’d reached the last child.

“Iwaizumi Hajime.” Hajime clearly looks uncomfortable, and does not want to be here. _Maybe we can be friends,_ Tooru thinks, somewhat glad that he isn’t the only person who would rather be at home than “bonding with other kids”. Their counselor stands up, and proceeds to explain their first activity. The rest of the morning goes by slowly, and it’s finally lunch. After this, Tooru’s free to go home and tell his mother he hates it and never wants to come back.

Lunch is simple: tuna sandwich, juice, and a cookie provided by the camp. Tooru takes his share and sits down at the corner of the table, away from the other children. As he eats, another child plops down on the chair next to him. Iwaizumi Hajime.

“You looked lonely,” Hajime says, explaining his actions. Tooru glances over at Hajime, and notices his grasshopper sticker falling off.

“Hey,” he says, reaching over. “Your sticker’s coming off.” Tooru pushes it back onto Hajime’s shirt, and smiles a little at how funny the sticker actually looks.

“Kind of looks like an alien more than a grasshopper, doesn’t it?” Hajime grins, patting the sticker. Tooru’s eyes light up at the mention of aliens, and nods his head.

“Do you think aliens are real?” Tooru asks, knowing the answer will determine if Hajime is truly worthy to be his friend or not. Hajime, mouth full of juice, only nods, much to Tooru’s delight. He begins rambling about how cool aliens are, and how he’d like to meet one someday. Hajime watches him curiously, offering little comments like “what if they abduct you” or “what if your parents are secretly aliens”.

When Tooru’s mother comes to pick him up, she’s delighted to see that her son has actually made a new friend. “Well, Tooru, are you gonna keep coming for the next two days, or should I cancel after all?” Tooru shakes his head, and quietly says that he’d like to keep going to camp, please. His mother laughs, and they head home.

The following two days are the prelude of a long friendship between two boys named Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime.

 

 

~Present Day, age 19

 

Tooru sighs contentedly. “Thank god for that summer camp, and its stupid alien grasshoppers.”

“I can’t believe you’re still into aliens, even after 13 years.” Hajime gives Tooru a look, eyebrow raised. “What a _nerd_.” Tooru grabs a pillow and shoves it in Hajime’s face.

“Shut up, you’re still a bug nerd and you know it!” Tooru says petulantly.

“Just because I can name every bug we come across doesn’t mean I’m a _bug nerd_.” Hajime retorts, shoving the pillow back at Tooru.

“Why did I fall in love with such a _dork_?” Tooru says with his usual dramatic flair, looking at the ceiling.

“At least _I_ don’t put up huge posters of aliens all over my bedroom, or have underwear that says ‘my butt is out of this world’.”

“It’s the truth and you know it.” Tooru sticks out his tongue, but quickly retracts it, eyes sparkling. “Hey, Iwa-chan, did you sit—“

“Oikawa, _no_.”

“—on sugar, because your ass is sweet,” he finishes, happy with his bad pick-up line. Hajime groans.

“That reminds me of the time when we were 7 and you literally did sit on sugar.” Tooru’s eyes widen.

“Iwa-chan, why do you still remember that? Erase it! Be gone!” Tooru lies down on the bed, waves his hands around, pretending to wipe a blackboard clean. Hajime lets a smile grin form, and as he dodges Tooru’s pillow attacks, remembers Tooru’s first terrible kitchen experience.

 

 

~Iwaizumi Hajime’s Birthday, age 7

 

 

Iwaizumi Hajime hated parties, or any large social gatherings. Thus, by birthday party, he meant ‘invite-Tooru-over-to-bake-a-cake’. That’s what they did every major celebration; Christmas, Obon, birthdays, whatever special occasion it may be. They’d only known each other for two years, yes, but that didn’t stop them from developing this tradition.

Of course, being 7 year old boys, they couldn’t be trusted to make an entire cake from scratch without any assistance. Hajime’s mother always prepared the ingredients for them, carefully measured and placed in cups and bowls to be easily accessed by the two boys.

              This time, however, she had forgotten one very important item: sugar. She’d forgotten to get tofu for Hajime’s birthday dinner and rushed out with Hajime’s father, leaving the two boys to wonder how on earth they’d make a cake without sugar.

“Whatever, I know where Mom keeps the sugar, we can just get it ourselves,” Hajime says, bringing his stool in front of the cabinet where the sugar was kept. He grabs a small plastic bag and a measuring cup, and steps up onto the stool.

“Hajime-chan, be careful!” Tooru watches with worry, small hands clasped together.

“It’s fine, it’s not that high!” Hajime climbs onto the counter, opening the cabinet door. He carefully measures out 2 cups of sugar and pours it into the plastic bag. Zipping the bag tight, he closes the cupboard door, and setting the bag down on the counter before climbing down onto his stool.

Tooru sighs with relief and walks off to go to the washroom. Hajime takes the bag of sugar and sets it down on a chair as he brings his stool back to its place in the corner of the room.

What he didn’t notice was that he’d let too much air into the bag, so when Tooru came back and happily jumped onto the chair, he made impact with the bag full of sugar, and bam.

The bag burst open, sugar crystals flying everywhere. Tooru let out a high-pitched scream, followed by loud laughter on Hajime’s part. Tooru, having failed to dry his hands after washing them, had sugar stuck to his palms and his lower arm. Still laughing, Hajime grabs paper towel and begins wiping the sugar off his best friend. Tears begin to form in Tooru’s eyes, as he apologizes for wasting the sugar Hajime worked so hard to get.

“Stupid Tooru, don’t apologize. It wasn’t that hard to get, its fine. We just have to make sure Mom and Dad don’t find out, so help me get this off the floor, ok?” Hajime says, as he wipes the last of the sugar off Tooru’s face. Tooru nods, blinking away the tears and going to grab a towel to help Hajime.

The rest of the cleanup went without any more tears, and the making of the cake batter was simple. After covering it up cautiously, the two boys went into the living room to watch Tooru’s favourite movie.

“But Hajime-chan, it’s your birthday! Don’t you wanna watch Godzilla or something?” Tooru asks curiously, eyes wide and questioning.

“I wasn’t the one bawling my eyes out 20 minutes ago,” Hajime mutters, turning on the TV and putting the CD in. Tooru’s face brightens with a smile, and runs over to hug Hajime.

“Hajime-chan, I love you!” Tooru let out a small giggle as a light blush grows on Hajime’s face.

“Just watch the movie!”

When Hajime’s parents come back, they find the two boys curled up asleep on the couch together, movie credits rolling.

 

 

~Present Day, age 19

 

“Unfortunately for us, that wasn’t the last kitchen mishap you caused,” Hajime remarks.

“Hm? Iwa-chan, I don’t know what you mean!” Tooru sings. Hajime pulls at Tooru’s bangs, earning him a loud whine from the other boy.

“Iwa-chan, not the hair! It’s my best feature!”

“It’s your _only_ feature.” Hajime pulls himself up onto the bed, curls his fingers in Tooru’s hair, pushed his bangs up and lightly kisses his forehead. Hajime laughs at Tooru’s pout.

“Iwa-chan, you can’t say something so rude and then kiss me! It’s not fair!” Tooru brushes his fingers over his forehead. He laughs, startling Hajime.

“What is it this time?”

“Nothing, just remembering that time when we were 9 and you licked me.”

“Oh god, no, please forget that.” Tooru laughs again.

 

 

~A Hot Summer’s Day, age 9

 

 

              The sound of cicadas fill the air while Hajime and Tooru sit out on the deck in Tooru’s backyard. Licking popsicles in an attempt to beat the heat, the boys sit in the little bit of shade provide by the roof of the house.

“It’s so hooooooooot!” Tooru let out a small whine, fanning himself with the hand not holding his popsicle.

“Idiot, the more you say it the hotter it’s gonna feel.” Hajime glares at Tooru, and took a bite of his own pop.

“But Hajimeeeeeeeeee!”

“Shut up.” Hajime finishes off his popsicle, and went inside to toss it out. Tooru quickly finishes his own, and got up to follow Hajime. Hajime opened the fridge to get the two of them juice. With juice boxes in both hands, he turns around and nearly drops them from shock. Tooru’s face was messy from having so hastily finished his treat, and the area near his mouth is almost completely red. “Tooru, you’ve got popsicle juice all over your face!” Hajime says, laughing at Tooru’s strangely coloured face.

“Ewww, Hajime, can you wipe it off for me?” Tooru rubs his hand against his skin, but rather than getting it off, he got more on his hands. Still laughing softly, Hajime moves to grab a towel, but notices that his hands are full.

              To this day, both of them wonder why Hajime didn’t simply put down the juice and go grab a towel. Rather, he decides to wrap his arms around Tooru, pulling him close, and lick his face. _Lick_ it. Tooru jumps back, breaking the embrace. Hajime stood there with his tongue still out, not completely processing what he’d just done.

“Hajime, you _kissed_ me! My first kiss! What if no one ever falls in love with me after this?” Tooru cries, ever dramatic. Hajime feels a blush creep up, and quickly shouts back.

“That wasn’t a kiss, dang it, let’s just forget about it, ok?” He tosses the juice onto the dining table, grabs a towel, soaks it with water, and starts dabbing at Tooru’s face. Tooru was still going on about how he’d been tainted (where did he learn such a word?) and how he’d never get married (again, where were these concepts coming from?). Hajime grumbles a quick apology, tossing the dirty towel into the sink and walking back out to the yard. Tooru, realizing that nothing could be done about having lost his first “kiss”, follows Hajime outside. They spent the rest of the day quietly, sipping at their juice boxes and occasionally making comments about the temperature.

Tooru’s face felt especially hot where Hajime has licked it, and he suspected it wasn’t just because of the summer heat.

 

 

~Present Day, age 19

 

“Oh god, you made me remember it. _Oh my god,_ why did I do that? Why did _you_ call it a kiss?” Hajime cringes, shutting his eyes tight.

“Aw, Iwa-chan, don’t be shy~ Thinking back on it, it was pretty cute of you!” Tooru says, leaning against Hajime. Tooru hums happily as he lays his head on Hajime’s shoulder. Taking Hajime’s hand in his, he laces their fingers together and squeezes tight. Hajime squeezes back, and Tooru smiles happily.

“That was nothing like a real kiss,” Hajime says, leaning over dangerously close to Tooru’s face. Tooru resists the urge to cover his face in embarrassment. Hajime closes in, and Tooru leans in as well. Their lips brush, and Hajime deepens the kiss. Tooru tastes like citrus, thanks to the orange he ate earlier. And Hajime, Hajime just tastes _warm._ Soft and tender, it lasts for a few seconds before they pull apart. “That,” Hajime whispers, “was a real kiss.” Tooru takes this time to bury his face in Hajime’s hair, feeling his face burn.

“Iwa-chan, I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” Tooru mumbles into Hajime’s hair. Hajime brings their still intertwined hands up to his lips, and kisses Tooru’s hand.

“Thought you’d be used to it by now,” Hajime replies, smiling. Stretching their hands out in front of them, Hajime remembers the first time Tooru called him Iwa-chan.

 

 

~After Practice, age 13

 

 

              Tooru and Hajime are walking home after a tiring practice, Tooru with a volleyball in his hands and subjecting Hajime to his daily complaining.

“… and in math, sensei _completely_ ignored me, you know! I was all ready to go up and answer, but no, he had to choose _Kurosaki_ , who didn’t even get the answer right!” Tooru remarks, pouting, and Hajime frowns.

“Weren’t you just trying to show off the results of your extra tutoring? What a petty guy,” Hajime says, taking the volleyball from Tooru’s hands into his own, and spinning it a few times.

“Hajime, you’re supposed to feel bad for me! Why else would I be pouring my heart out to you?” Hajime scoffs, not impressed or feeling a bit sorry for Tooru.

“Hey, Tooru,” Hajime begins, but suddenly remembers something he overheard from his _senpai_ at the club. “…Oikawa,” he says again, “do you still have that copy of Volleyball Monthly I lent you?” Tooru abruptly stops walking, and turns his head towards Hajime.

“What did you call me?” Tooru furrows his brow, staring at Hajime.

“Oikawa. What? That _is_ your name, isn’t it?” Hajime murmurs, the name new on his tongue. Tooru walks closer, not used to the new, disconnected form of address.

“Ha. Ji. Me. Why are you acting so distant?” Tooru makes sure to pronounce every syllable in Hajime’s name, trying to tell him that he prefers the use of his first name.

“Well… I overheard our senpai at the club saying it’s a little weird to call people by their first names, especially since we’re not kids anymore.”

“Hajime, we’re 13! We’re still kids!” Tooru exclaims, and Hajime understands just how much Tooru hates the use of his family name coming from Hajime.

“We’re almost in our third year, and after that, we’ll be in _high school_. It’ll make us seem weird, two boys still addressing each other by our first names.” Hajime squirms uncomfortably, putting his hands into his pockets.

“I’m not going to call you Iwaizumi. _Never_.” Tooru’s statement is said with a voice of finality.

“Well, I’m still calling you Oikawa, like it or not,” Hajime snaps back, walking faster.

“Well, I’m not talking to you unless you call me Tooru,” Tooru hisses, trailing behind.

“Don’t be so stubborn, Oikawa.” Hajime calls over his shoulder. Tooru turns his head away, not meeting Hajime’s eyes. They walk in silence, Hajime in front, Tooru in the back.

As much as he wanted Oikawa to stop calling him Hajime, he didn’t want to lose his best friend over something like this. He sighs. “Fine. _Fine_. What do you want to call me? I’m not gonna let you call me Hajime with no honorifics, so think of something else. Hajime-kun? Hajime-san?” Tooru shakes his head stubbornly.

“No.”

“What, is even _Iwa-chan_ not good enough for you? Still too distant? Should I really just stop talking to you?” Hajime huffs, stopping to look at Tooru. Surprisingly, Tooru’s eyes are lively, a silly grin on his face.

“Iwa-chan.” _Oh no_ , Hajime thinks, _what have I brought upon myself?_ “Iwa-chan,” Tooru repeats. “I’ll let you call me Oikawa, but from now on you’re Iwa-chan.” Hajime groans, but decides that it’s ultimately better than “Hajime-chan” or not talking to each other again. Tooru runs up to Hajime’s side, and they knock shoulders. “Iwa-chan~” Tooru laughs, happy with the new nickname, enjoying the serendipity.

Iwaizumi Hajime had accidentally created a nickname that would last through the years, would be joyously shouted in celebration, heart-wrenchingly cried out in defeat, desperately whispered in love.

 

 

~Present Day, age 19

 

“Iwa-chan, you have a weird smile on your face,” Tooru says, waving his free hand in front of Hajime’s face.

“Sorry, got lost in thought,” Hajime replies.

“Aw, Iwa-chan, I didn’t know you could get lost in thought, or that you even thought that often!” Hajime let go of Tooru’s hand and pinched his cheeks with both hands.

“Say that again?” Hajime says threateningly.

“Ow, ow, ow, Iwa-chan, stop! Sorry, sorry!” Hajime lets go of Oikawa’s cheeks, and the latter immediately began rubbing them, complaining about how Hajime might have ruined his perfect complexion.

“December really is the month of nostalgia, isn’t it?” Hajime remarks, running his fingers through Tooru’s hair. Tooru hums, climbing on top of Hajime and laying his head down on Hajime’s chest.

“Iwa-chan, remember when you got totally jealous when I got my first girlfriend?”

“I was not jealous, and you have some nerve, talking about your ex while on top of your current boyfriend,” Hajime says, with no real bite to his words.

“Don’t be jealous, I don’t think I even really liked her!” Tooru says, trying to reassure Hajime in his own way.

“Wow, that’s comforting. As always, your personality sucks.” Tooru looks up at Hajime with mock horror.

“Iwa-chan, I was nice enough to make you tea, and I even brought agedashi tofu over! I’m a great person!” Hajime scoffs and wraps his arms around Tooru.

“Why am I even dating you.” He says it as more of a statement rather than a question, as if he’s given up and accepted that he’s probably the only person in the world who can tolerate Tooru. In reply, Tooru nuzzles against Hajime’s chest.

“You’re definitely better than that other girl.” Tooru says matter-of-factly.

 

 

~Behind the Gym, age 15

 

 

“Oikawa-kun, I really, really like you, and I think we should date.”

Tooru isn’t sure how to respond. It’s not like this is his first ever confession, but this is definitely the first girl who’s been so straightforward with her request to date him. She’s also the first person who Tooru’s actually gotten to know, and he thinks that maybe it’ll work out.

Except for one thing.

Tooru isn’t sure if he actually likes her, _in that way_. He knows she’s a good person: supportive, dependable, and definitely fun to be with. But Tooru just isn’t sure. He looks at her, really looks, and sees that she is absolutely serious about her confession. He almost sighs, catching himself, and flashes her one of his signature smiles.

“Ok, I’ll date you.” He isn’t sure why he agreed; he actually surprised himself with his answer. Well, _carpe diem_ right? It’s the start of his high school days, might as well make the most of it.

They start off fine, Tooru enjoys her company, likes the feel of her soft hands in his. He has fun when he’s with her.  

But something still feels wrong.

Sure, she was nice to have around, but he ultimately came to the conclusion that the way he felt about her way the same way he felt about any of his other friends. Great people, but not someone he’d want something more with. He knows this can’t go on much longer, and decides it’s better to end it soon.

~

“But Iwa-chan, what if she gets mad at me and slaps me or something?” Tooru asks, lightly tossing a volleyball in his room.

“You’ve been reading too much manga; there’s no way someone is actually gonna slap you.” Hajime answers, bored as he flipped through his notes, studying for his history test.

“But Iwa-chan, you hit me all the time!”

“That’s different. Hajime states, and flips another page.

“Well, would you hit me if I broke up with you?”

“Definitely, but that’s not something I have to worry about,” Hajime grumbles, feeling himself getting more irritated at all this talk about Tooru’s girlfriend.

“Iwa-chan, that’s not comforting at all!” Tooru lets the volleyball drop and sits down, leaning against Hajime.

“I’m not here for relationship advice, Oikawa. If you wanna break up, then just do it.”

“And what if I don’t know if I want to break up or not?”

“Do it anyways, if you’re thinking it, then maybe it means you aren’t into her anymore.” Tooru is quiet for a moment, considering Hajime’s words. He grins, ready to tease.

“Iwa-chan, it kinda sounds like you really want me to break up with her~ maybe you want to be the one dating her instead?” Tooru says mischievously. Hajime coughs.

“No way, I’m not interested in her,” he responds. Tooru continues grinning, and the taunts continue until Hajime finally shuts him up with a good strong head-butt.

~

Upon breaking up, the girl had shouted something angrily at Tooru, and it had him thinking.

“ _You probably love volleyball and Iwaizumi-kun more than you ever loved me!”_

The scary part was that Tooru found himself agreeing with that statement. He remembers the times they’d gone out on dates, and he’d wished that it were Iwa-chan here with him instead of this girl, or how he could have been tossing to Iwa-chan instead. Why wasn’t it Iwa-chan going on these dates with him? He’d much rather be spending time with him.

Tooru jerks up suddenly from his bed.

_Shit,_ he thinks. _Oh god, am I really in love with_ Iwa-chan _?_ Tooru frowns. _No way, I’m not that ignorant about my own feelings. Iwa-chan is Iwa-chan._ And that’s when he realized, that he’d been with Hajime for so long, that whatever he felt for him had been there for so long that it’d just felt natural, and he’d never seriously thought about it. Until now.

Oikawa Tooru understood now, that what he felt for Hajime was more than friendship, that this, this feeling of comfort, safety, and the desire to be with him no matter where or when, was something _beyond_ mere friendship. Tooru’s eyes widened, and he flopped back onto the bed, counting on his fingers the year he’d known Hajime. _10 years,_ he thinks, _I’ve been in love with Iwa-chan for_ 10 years. He laughs, embarrassed, and proceeds to re-contemplate his entire life.

 

 

~Present Day, age 19

 

“That poor girl,” Hajime says, carding his fingers through Tooru’s hair.

“It’s too bad for her that you’ve always been #1 in my heart, Iwa-chan~” Tooru winks.

“How are you completely unfazed after saying something so cheesy?” Tooru just laughs in response. They lie in a comfortable silence for a while, Tooru humming as Hajime trails his fingers up and down Tooru’s back. He basks in the warmth that Hajime radiates, and thinks that as long as Hajime is here, he’ll never be truly cold, even with the biting winds of winter. This feeling of security makes Tooru wonder why it took him so long to tell Hajime how he felt; it’s a shock that he was actually able to live 17 years without this intimate proximity with him. Tooru closes his eyes, and replays his 17th birthday in his mind.

 

 

~July 20th, age 17

 

 

Every year, on his birthday, Oikawa Tooru made a list of things he wanted to do. As he got older, the lists got longer and harder to complete. And this time, for his 17th birthday, it was the most daring list he’d made so far.

Oikawa Tooru’s Birthday To-do List:

  1. **Skip practice (with Iwa-chan)**



Tooru’s original plan had been to skip classes, but being born in summer meant that his birthday just happened to be during the break, so they didn’t have classes anyways. He just had to make do with the next best thing.

“Iwa-chan, wake up!” Tooru burst into Hajime’s room at exactly 7am in the morning.

“Shit, Oikawa, it _7am in the morning_. Take your energy elsewhere,” Hajime said, still groggy.

“Iwa-chan, you were supposed to wish me—“

“Happy birthday now get out.” Hajime pulls his covers higher over his head, attempting to block out Tooru.

“Iwa-chaaaaaaaaaan don’t be like that! We’ve got a list to complete, now come on! Get up!” This got Hajime’s attention.

“Excuse me? _We?_ I’m not completing your stupid birthday list with you, isn’t just baking a cake enough?” Hajime sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“But, Iwa-chan, that’s too normal! Birthdays are for celebrating and having fun! I’ll only have one 17th birthday and I need to make the most of it!” Tooru replies, tossing Hajime a shirt and shorts. “Now get dressed and let’s go!”

“Don’t we have practice this morning? _You_ , of all people, is going to practice?” Hajime says as he pulls on the shirt.

“Iwa-chan, birthdays are also for resting! There’s a difference between resting and skipping, right? We’re _resting_ , not skipping practice!” Hajime groans, but lets himself be pulled out of his room and led out the door by his best friend.

  1. **Eat ramen for breakfast**



“It’s too early to be eating something this hot, won’t you get indigestion or something? How many stores are gonna be open?” Hajime says, trailing behind Tooru.

“Don’t worry, I’ve already planned out our day! Here we are,” Tooru says, leading them into a small and unfortunately very sketchy-looking shop. Hajime sighs, and they both order shoyu. Hajime has to admit: it tastes good. “Iwa-chan, you gotta have more trust in my ability to find great places!” Hajime is forced to agree with this statement.

  1. **Lie down on the school track**



15 minutes in, and Hajime’s beginning to feel tired, his sleeping having been rudely interrupted. “And why, exactly, are we doing this?” The two boys are lying side by side in the middle of the track, sunlight occasionally shining on them. Tooru frowns.

“I thought there’d be more sun, so it’d light up my beautiful face.” Hajime lifts his arm and brings it down on Tooru’s face. “Ow, Iwa-chan!”

“This is pointless, just get on with the next thing. The track team’s gonna be here soon for practice and I don’t want to explain why we’re lying down like a pair of idiots.” Hajime says roughly. Tooru grins.

  1. **Yell as loudly as possible on the track**



“No.”

“Iwa-chan, you said you’d do it with me!” Tooru says, tugging on Hajime, who’s about to walk off the track and go back home.

“I said no such thing. You do it on your own.” Tooru puts on a petulant pout. He straightens up and walks to the corner of the track.

“IWA-CHAN CRIED READING ASSASSINATION CLASS— Mmf!” Tooru’s yell is cut short by a hand clamping his mouth shut.

“You promised to keep that a secret,” Hajime hisses, looking around to see if anyone had heard. Thankfully, no one was around. He releases Tooru, who just flashes him a wide grin and begins to walk towards Aoba Jousai’s main building.

  1. **Sing on the school roof.**



“Oh my god, _why_?” Hajime finds himself groaning again. Tooru still has a wide grin plastered on his face as he skips across the roof.

“Iwa-chan, just listen to my beautiful voice~” Tooru begins singing a tune from who knows which girl group, and Hajime admits, that yes, Tooru’s voice is in fact pretty good. Tooru finishes the song with a dramatic bow, thanking the skies for listening to his superb vocals. Hajime claps half-heartedly and hands him a box of juice. Tooru looks at him quizzically, but takes it gratefully.

“I got it from the ramen place; it’s been in my pocket since this morning.” Hajime shrugs. “I figured you’d need it eventually.”

“Iwa-chan, we’re so in sync! This must be some kind of telepathic power, granted to us by the aliens!” Hajime slaps the back of his head.

“I don’t want that kind of connection with you, gross.”

“Mean, Iwa-chan!”

  1. **Drink black coffee at a café**



“You think coffee with 3 packets of sugar in it is too bitter, why the black coffee?” Hajime stirs his own cup.

“I’m simply enjoying my youth! Iwa-chan, you’re always drinking it black, so I thought I’d try it out! If I don’t like it, you’ll drink it for me, right?” Tooru bats his eyelashes and winks. He takes a sip of the coffee and has to make an effort to not spit it out. “Ew, how do you drink this all the time?” He grabs the sugar and opens packet after packet, pouring it into his drink.

“At this point that’s sugar with coffee, not coffee with sugar,” Hajime comments, sipping at his own coffee, free of additional sweetening. Tooru glares at him, and puts cream into his cup too. He takes a sip.

“Ah, much better!” Tooru leans forward, resting on his elbows. Hajime reaches over and brushes Tooru’s upper lip with his thumb, startling him.

“What? You had a cream moustache,” Hajime explains, then taps his chin. “Actually, I shouldn’t have wiped it off, would’ve been interesting to see the great Oikawa Tooru walking around town looking like that.”

“How _considerate_ of you, Iwa-chan,” Tooru mutters, his face warm. “Anyways, finish up and let’s continue onwards!”

  1. **Get Iwa-chan to buy me flowers**



Tooru takes them further into the town, stopping at various shops to peer in and comment about how good he’d look in those pants, or that jacket. Hajime is forced to agree, but at times he finds himself genuinely agreeing with Tooru’s words. Maybe he’s becoming more acquiescent to Tooru. Eventually, they reach a small flower shop on the corner of a street, the shop owner sweeping away fallen flower petals. Upon seeing them, she greets the pair with a warm smile.

“Welcome! How can I help you?” she says, placing the broom to the side and leading them inside the shop. The fragrant shop causes the two boys to sigh, basking in the fresh scent. She giggles, and begins picking out a few samples. She holds up a sasanqua and an iris. “How about these? One for a noble heart,” she says, lifting the iris higher, “or for reliability and modesty?” Hajime laughs.

“Would you have one that means ‘annoying’?” He asks, glancing around. The shop owner laughs along.

“We sell only positivity here, unfortunately. How about the violet? It means _please love me_.” She winks, and Tooru feels himself huff in annoyance. Hajime declines, and requests something less suggestive.  Tooru wanders off to one side, while Hajime continues to discuss with the owner. He pauses at a bouquet of lilacs.

“First love.” A voice comes from behind him, and Tooru turns around. Another employee is smiling, standing behind him. “Or maybe peach, for the happiness of love?” He gestures towards another bundle of flowers. Tooru simply flashes him a smile, and walks to find Hajime, who’s holding a single bellflower.

“Respect,” Hajime says, and tucks the flower behind Tooru’s ear. He turns and begins walking out of the store while Tooru covers his face with both hands.

  1. **Have a picnic by Aoba Castle**



The two are sitting on a bench in front of the historic site, Hajime with a _yakisoba_ bun and Tooru with his milk bread.

“How is this a picnic, you ask?” Tooru says between mouthfuls.

“I didn’t ask.” Hajime says.

“Well, by definition, a picnic is an outing involving taking a packed meal outdoors to consume! Our lunches were packaged in plastic, so that’s basically the same thing, isn’t it?” Tooru says cheerfully, swinging his legs on the bench. Hajime chooses to ignore him, instead standing up to throw away the plastic wrap from his bun. He walks toward a booth set up nearby, and returns with two bottles of cooled green tea.

“Cheers to you, I guess,” Hajime says, tipping his bottle towards Tooru. Tooru smiles, and they clink bottles.

“Happy birthday to me~” Tooru sings, watching the hustle bustle of people going on and off the site. Summer vacation brings with it a spike in activity, and Aoba Castle, noted for being one of the 100 fine castles in Japan, was no exception. Tooru leans on Hajime’s shoulder, surprising the other boy for a moment. Hajime relaxes though, and closes his eyes. Tooru does the same, and they both fall asleep, ignoring the whispers of tourists passing by.

  1. **Watch Star Wars (again) with Iwa-chan**



“How many times,” Hajime says as he microwaves popcorn, “have we watched this movie?” Tooru rubs his chin in thought.

“6? Maybe 7? I’ve lost count,” he replies, pouring cola for the two of them. The microwave beeps and Hajime takes the fresh popcorn out. They head to Tooru’s room where the DVD is already in, loaded, and ready to watch. Tooru pulls the curtains closed, turns off the lights, and joins Hajime on his bed. He turns the AC on, and they’re ready.

  1. **Cuddle with Iwa-chan (while watching Star Wars)**
  2. **Hold Iwa-chan’s hand (while watching Star Wars)**



They’re about an hour into the movie when Tooru starts feeling a bit chilly. _Time for number 10, then,_ he decides, and moves closer to Hajime, their shoulders brushing. Hajime doesn’t offer a reaction, even when Tooru gingerly places his own hand on top of Hajime’s. Rather, he shifts closer to Tooru. Subconsciously, yes, but that doesn’t stop Tooru’s face from reddening slightly. Tooru’s attention isn’t even on his favourite movie anymore. Tenderly, he slips his fingers in between the gaps in Hajime’s, and squeezes lightly. Still no resistance from Hajime, but Tooru accredits that to the movie’s ability to completely suck in its viewers. They stay in this position for the rest of the movie, sharing warmth and basking in each other’s presence.

  1. **Tell a cheesy pick up line**



The movie ends, and Tooru shuts off the TV. They sit quietly for a while, hands still held, Tooru humming the theme song. Tooru lets the atmosphere remain for a bit longer, then breaks the silence.

“Iwa-chan, you’re a 1 but I’m the 9 you need.”

“That is _not_ how the line goes, and you know it,” Hajime looks over at Tooru, and suddenly their faces are too close. Tooru feels his heart beat a little faster.

  1. **Say it.**
  2. **Tooru, _say it._**
  3. **_Oikawa Tooru,_ say it!!**
  4. **Tell him you love him, that you love him a lot**



Oikawa bites his lip, feeling his hands get sweaty, particularly the one still holding Hajime’s. The serene, warm atmosphere still surrounds them. _Now or never,_ Tooru thinks. He closes his eyes briefly, thinking back to all the girls who had confessed to him before. _Damn, they really had guts._ He laughs to himself. He shifts so that he’s facing Hajime, careful not to disconnect their hands. Hajime shifts towards Tooru, sensing that latter was about to say something. He reaches for Hajime’s other hand, and Hajime lets him take it.

“Hajime, I—,”

“Tooru.” Tooru shuts his mouth, stunned. The unexpected use of his first name was far from the most surprising thing though. Tooru feels Hajime let go of his hands, and suddenly his eyes are covered and a hand is on his neck, pulling him forward and he can feel Hajime’s breath on his lips and then—

Warm, chapped lips are on his own, barely there at all. Tooru feels Hajime lean in closer, and it finally sinks it that they are kissing. _Kissing_. When Hajime finally moves back, it takes all of Tooru’s willpower to not melt into a pool of happiness right then and there.

“Happy birthday, Tooru.” Hajime smiles, and Tooru has never felt happier. He hooks his arms around Hajime’s neck and kisses him again.

“Hajime, I love you, I love you a lot,” he whispers, feeling his heart palpitating. He presses their foreheads together and sighs contentedly. Hajime smiles, and kisses his neck.

“I love you too.” Hajime says softly against Tooru’s neck. They fall onto the bed, Hajime on top, pressing gentle kisses to any place with exposed skin. Tooru’s lips, forehead, cheeks, neck, hands, everywhere is claimed by Hajime.

And Tooru loves every second of it. So much, in fact, that he starts crying.

“!? Tooru? Are you okay?” Hajime says, worry evident in his voice.

“I’m just… I’m just really, really, _really_ happy,” he sobs out, and Hajime is almost overwhelmed by the purity, the honesty of Tooru’s words.

“Such an ugly crier,” Hajime says, rubbing away Tooru’s tears. He flips them over, so Tooru’s head is lying on his chest, and he feels the tears soak through his thin t-shirt. Hajime rubs Tooru’s back, and they stay like that for a long, long time. Eventually, Tooru sits up.

“Well, Iwa-chan, we can’t have a birthday without cake, right? Let us go follow tradition and bake that cake!” Tooru says it so cheerfully, Hajime couldn’t believe he’d just been bawling his eyes out minutes earlier. Tooru hops off the bed, and, taking Hajime’s hands in his, pulls him downstairs to the kitchen.

  1. **Kiss Iwaizumi Hajime**



More kisses follow into the night, and there are thousands more to come.

 

 

~Present Day, age 19

 

“Oikawa?” Hajime whispers. No response. “Tooru?” he whispers again.

“Mm, Hajime, I’m tired,” Tooru whispers back. He rolls off Hajime’s chest and plops next to him.

“Brush your teeth at least,” Hajime mutters. The two get up grudgingly and drag themselves to the washroom. They finish their routine quickly, and collapse back onto Hajime’s bed. Tooru snuggles against Hajime’s chest, feeling strong arms wrap around him. He presses a kiss to Hajime’s chest and falls asleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat. Hajime plays with Tooru’s soft brown curls, kissing his forehead and his eyelids. He exhales, and thinks about what he’ll tell the gods when they visit the shrine for the new year.

_Thank you,_ he thinks, _thank you for blessing me with Oikawa Tooru, and the moments we’ve shared together. Thank you, for giving me someone who I can love with all my heart and trust that they love me just as much._ “I love you.” Hajime whispers, so softly that he can barely hear himself, and allows himself to fall asleep.

The snowflakes continue to dance, with the dark skies of Miyagi as their backdrop. Softly, slowly, but surely at a constant pace, it falls. Each snowflake lands, clinging to the ground, or to other flakes, and they gradually build up, blanketing the streets of Sendai in a pure white cover. The city is quiet, save for the occasional late-night worker driving home, who pauses at a red light, admiring the ephemeral beauty of the scene before him.

**Author's Note:**

> whew! hopefully you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing this~ kudos are welcome~


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